The Continuing No Shame Poem of the Week Series Presents "Why I Hate My Socks"

Before the poem, I have a special shout out to my friend Nancy Kyme, whose book, Memory Lake: The Forever Friendships of Summer, won first place in the Inspirational category of the Indie Book Awards. Check it out at http://www.indiebookawards.com/2012_winners_and_finalists.php. A big Biscuit City congratulations to Nancy!

And now for our regularly scheduled poem:

                           Why I Hate My Socks

They are conspiring against me.
Lying quietly in dark drawers, plotting their escape,
Sometimes in pairs, sometimes singly
But I find them out:
They are either gone entirely or there is only one left.

Lying quietly in dark drawers, plotting their escape,
Sometimes in pairs, sometimes singly
But I find them out:
They are either gone entirely or there is only one left.

Sometimes they escape through the washing machine
By one of the cycles
Or through the dryer
Through a mysterious process
Involving a black hole.

Darn them! Darn them! Darn them!
Except no one gives a darn any more
At least not for a sock.

It's hard to tell them apart and
They end up mismatched.
They are out to embarrass me,
To make me look odd
To make me look foolish
To make me look like I can't do laundry
To make me look like I can't match colors

But sometimes they end up down at the heels
With a hole in one on the golf course
And then they are hosed.
O how I want to sock it to
My socks.

--Dan Verner