Monday, July 25, 2011

How Hot Is It?

We have had quite a spell of hot weather recently, although today was better ("only" in the 90's) with more relief to come.  The really hot weather was incredibly oppressive, with air temperatures over 100 and heat indexes of 110 or more.  Now that's hot.

I thought of a song the kids used to sing called "How Hot Is It?" I don't have a sound file for it, but here are the words.  You can make up your own fast country-style melody.

      (More or less shouted) How hot is it?
      Well, it's so hot the snakes have all got blisters,
       It's so hot ny clothes are wringing wet,
       It's so hot the polar bears are reeling,
       All we do is sit and watch rocks sweat.

(This immortal bit of verse also has stanzas on "How dry is it?" "How cold is it?" and "How wet is it?" However, I'm here to talk about the heat.)

I also have a few heat jokes:

You know it’s hot when
Birds need potholders to pull worms out of the ground
Farmers feed their hens crushed ice so they won’t lay hard-boiled eggs
You need a spatula to change your clothing.
You need a spatula to change your clothing.
A scalding shower cools you down
Cows give evaporated milk
A dog is chasing a cat, and they’re both walking.
The directions on a can of soup say, “Just pour and eat.”
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance
Pigs complain about sweating like humans.

I know, it's more humor than anyone can stand.  I'll be here all week: remember to tip your server!

Seriously, as much as we complained about the heat, one of the leaders in church reminded us how fortunate we are to have air conditioning and have cars.  People in some parts of the world have no cars and must walk long distances, often to procure food or water. We are indeed blessed and fortunate and when we think about how blessed and fortunate most of us are, it doesn't seem as hot any more.

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